Are You Still in Victim Mode?
Are you still in victim mode?
Do you often wonder why things are turning out this way?
Maybe there was an event in your life that you remember so clearly like it was yesterday or maybe it was something so painful and deeply rooted that your subconscious mind has found a way to lock it in a box and only allow it to surface when you face your biggest challenges?
I sometimes like to think of pain as the necessary evil of survival.
You try so hard to avoid it yet what we often don’t realise is that it is in fact one of the strongest driving forces.
The need to block bad memories is often so severe that you don’t even realise the effect that might create on everything else we do in life.
But trying to burry everything in the background and never face it again will unfortunately never take you to the place where you’re secretly hoping to go – the solution of the problem and pain. And it could so easily affect many other areas of your life.
You can easily become more anxious, angrier, feel sadder, hopeless and just generally on the bottom end of anything positive. And that’s a trap it’s really, really difficult to escape from.
So here’re my 3 tips of how to beat those kinds of emotions:
1. Accept the fact that it’s happened already.
You can’t change the past! You simply can’t! It could be the most painful, horrific experience that you’ve ever been up against but here’s the great news about that – it’s in the past!
And it doesn’t define you! And it shouldn’t predict your future! I’m not saying forget it – simply make piece with it, learn how to move forward step by sep.
Even if that was something that someone else has said or done to you – the only person who ends up suffering at the end is you.
2. Accept that it doesn’t define you.
You are not your past! You are not your circumstances! Whatever you felt at a certain point in your life – only you and no one else can rectify that. Unless you make the choice to live your life by your terms, no one else is going to do it for you. Make the decision to change your life and stick to it.
Whatever it is – it could be something really small but do it! And keep on doing it until it becomes a habit and then do something else. Before you know it, all those things that you really wanted to do but was overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of will feel like second nature.
3. Don’t look for social approval of your actions.
I know that so often there’s a certain belief about our reactions that society finds acceptable but you are the creator of your own life!
You paint the picture and bring characters to life! Live your life by the way that YOU enjoy not by the way that someone else does.
I know it’s sometimes easier said than done but you can’t imagine the piece you’d feel once you stop worrying what others will think of you.
Always the most simple things are the hardest to accept simply because we feel that if it’s simple it probably doesn’t work. But more often than not – it actually does
All my love
Love, Peace and Laughter