The day I got attacked…
I haven't told you this story but it was something that touched me very deeply and I wanted to share it with you.
It's a little longer than my usual rumbles to you but I promise you it'll be worth your time.
It happened roughly 2 months ago..
We live in a ground floor flat of a small 3 story building in a lovely quiet neighbourhood just opposite of the school that our children attend.
It has a lovely communal garden at the back that is quiet secluded and a lot of the kids who live in the building like to play on
Unfortunately over the past few years the area started getting rougher and rougher with a local gang taking over the peace in the neighbourhood.
Quite often they will hang around behind our flat, just under our window, smoking pot, shouting obscenities, spitting and cursing and generally making our life hell.
So that particular day they were doing the same thing and it just got to the point where I honestly had enough.
I didn't want to deal with that anymore so I went out and ask them to leave.
That wasn't the first time when I'd done that, this had been ongoing for at least couple of years and the usual response was "Sorry m'am" and they'd leave.
However things didn't quite work out that way that particular day.
When I asked them to pick up the rubbish that they left behind them all hell broke lose.
And things got out of control.
They started shouting obscene things that I can't even repeat...
One of them sat down in front of the doorstep completely blocking my way.
I asked him to move, he blatantly refused and continued with the nasty remarks...
I'm not going to go into too many details but when I pushed him to make my way into the flat he grabbed me by the hair pulling it down so hard that I could feel and hear it breaking from my scalp...
Then the other 3 surrounded me and started kicking me and trying to punch me. One of them reached down for his sock and that point I realised how serious everything actually was. He didn't actually pull out a knife but kept telling me that he will cut mine and my husband's throat...
My husband was inside with a friend and never heard what happened outside...And thank God that he didn't...
I used all my strength and courage not to give up and fight back. That's where all my physical training really paid off.
Luckily my friend and neighbour heard my screams and called the police after which the guys took off straight away.
To say that I'm not reliving everything as I type this will be a lie.
Because I still do.
And it was an experience that shook my to my very core.
I couldn’t sleep for days after that…
I didn’t want to leave the flat…
If I had to, I’d take different routes instead of my usual ones…
I wanted so badly to go back to my hell eating habits and shut off the rest of the world.
I kept looking over my shoulder – will they appear again, will I recognise them, will I and my family actually be safe again?
But a huge realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and made me snap back to reality!
I wasn’t feeling like that just because I was attacked!
I was feeling like this because again someone else took advantage of me.
That little girl inside me who prayed for security and safety felt let down again…
And instead of all the staying with the feeling of blame, guilt, anger and frustration I did something different.
Not for me…
But for the guys who harmed me…
In my prayers I thanked them for showing up in my life and reminding me of who I was.
I forgave them and prayed that they find a different way of life instead of the one they live…
And I send them my love…
And that set me free again…
I understand how pain can affect your life, boy, do I know this!
But ultimately how we deal with pain helps us realise how we can move forward with our life.
Forgiveness isn't about excuse for someone who's harmed you... It's about you making inner peace with yourself and the situation. Because if you keep carrying the anger - it'll eat you alive!
And I thanked my inner ability to continue in my journey by showing up for you as often as I can and hopefully support you in leading a better quality of life.
That’s why I make the choice to eat healthy most of the time.
That’s why I make the choice to train and exercise pretty much every single day.
That’s why I want to help you find that inner and outer strength to fulfil your dreams in life and become the best of you.
All my love